dependence.

dependence is the word I think of when I think of my time here in Cambodia. I’ve been stripped of everything that’s comfortable. Even things that remind me of home. All I have is Christ and the body (my team). It’s been hare. Learning how to truly be apart of the body of Christ is learning how to be needy. God revealed a lot of doubt in his ability to provide, sustain, and bring peace in my heart. He then broke down my walls and helped me to be completely vulnerable and exposed in front of my team. Ever since that moment, I have felt so much freedom and comfort in his presence. I finally felt like could breathe around him and my team. We weren’t created to sustain ourselves. When we recognize this, it gets that much easier to depend of the one who sustains all life. Even though it will never be easy to lay aside our preferences and selfish desires to love, we have a perfect Father and savior to hold our hand and guide us on a journey to his heart.

God has shown me pieces of his heart that have shattered mine. Our host family took us to a little festival that our city was having about a week ago and I haven’t stopped thinking about it. Before this, I had been praying for God to show me more of his heart so I may understand and serve him better, and he answered that quick. We were walking through the bustling crowd, loud music and food everywhere, in a hurry to see everything our host was trying to show us. While we were walking, I had a moment where it felt like I was given a new pair of eyes. I looked at every person that passed as God views them, I start to tear up being reminded that all of the faces I saw were on Jesus’s mind as he was dying on the cross. This moment was very overwhelming but it in a very good way, it showed me how God sees the Cambodian people. He hasn’t forgot about them. God is so timely with the way he reveals things so can I encourage you for a moment? If you feel like God is silent or holding something back from you, check your heart. Are you tuned in? He’s always speaking. Are you willing to ask God for his eyes and ears? Yes, he’s always speaking, are you ready to listen?