Halfway done?!

hi friends!!! It’s been a minute since my last update here on the blog. To be so honest, it’s been so busy that it’s been hard to find space to sit, process and write. Thank you Lord for random McDonald’s that have Wi-Fi!!! My time is Thailand was a season of pruning, a season of discipline and a season of intimacy with the Father.

My team and 2 other teams got to live in Chiang Mai, a city in northern Thailand, at a coffee shop called Bella Goose!! So much fun! My team lived with Team Agape Guppies and Team Shekinah and it was so special to be with them for the month after being away for 6 weeks. Team Israel and Team Yada were in the mountains 2 hours away doing school ministry and had an awesome time!! Team NSS served with the Free Burma Rangers and lived close to Chiang Mai! Ministry looked a little bit different in Thailand for Alabaster. We came into Thailand a little shook up by our goodbye in Cambodia. As a team, we experienced sadness, grief and lots of emotions we didn’t expect when leaving. It made us lean on the Lord and each other so much more. The Lord was so kind is placing us there and even more kind to us when we were leaving. Coming in, we were very expectant of The Lord and what He would do in Thailand. We were told that we would be working with women who have been victims of sex trafficking and teaching them vocational skills like, cooking, cleaning, sewing, English, etc. We were so excited and ready to take on a pretty emotionally heavy ministry. We prepared our hearts and  minds and went into the first day ready. Little did we know that the Lord had different plans for us. The first week in Thailand we spent painting a playground with Agape Guppies and it was so. much. fun. We got to know them on a deeper level, jammed out to some amazing music, and got blessed by so many Thai grandma’s. They made us Thai pastries, pad see ew and brought us so many bananas. We were always worried about having lunch because we had to provide our own lunch while living at Bella Goose. So it was so sweet to see the way the Lord provided lunch for us. After the first week we were ready to start our ministry. When we got to ministry, we were at a cute shop called the mosaic market, and we met our hosts Helen and Vincent. They were so kind and welcoming to my team. We got to know them and they got to know us. The only thing was that our ministry was just looking after the shop and tending to their new church plant by cleaning and going to their services. This is what our 2 weeks with them looked like. Mostly hanging out, reading, making jewelry, and talking to each other.

We didn’t expect this at all. We expected an emotionally tough environment. During this time I went through a time of frustration and irritation with God and my team. I had thoughts like “what am I doing here?”, “am I even helping?” At this point I had prepared my heart and mind for something hard but this was hard. It was a great reminder of how much we feel the need to be “doing something” to serve the king. It’s reminds us of how much we look at what we can do in a moment, instead, looking around us for what God is doing in a space and asking him how we can partner in what he’s doing.

Even though ministry was not what I expected it to be in Thailand, The Lord taught me how to pull away and be with him. He taught me the importance of quiet time and how it can shift everything. There would be days where I didn’t open my Bible or pray and feel awful. I would be so irritated and uncomfortable in my own skin. But when I spend time with the Father, I feel light, free of others opinions of me, and joyful. And even when I fail to read or pray every day, the Father welcomes me back with open arms and a warm hug.

A story that has stuck with me during my time in Thailand was a moment when I got some feedback from a teammate. We were doing something we call super feedback. Where for each team member we encourage them and call them higher. When we got around to my feedback, my sweet teammate Lydia told me that sometimes when she is telling me something that’s hard for her I automatically tell her that God is good or you got this!!! She said that sometime in those moments we want to remind the person of truth, but sometimes they just need a friend, a hug, or a listening ear. I took this feedback to the Lord because I was taken back by it when I first heard it. And the Lord gave me the word compassion. Over and over again. I had a revelation that I had never really learned how to be compassionate, so The Lord is taking me through the book of John to teach me about the compassion of Jesus. It’s been so sweet and I’ve gotten to see the fruit of it when we got to visit the community on one of our last days in Thailand. My eyes and heart views those people in a whole new way and I’m so grateful for what the Lord is doing in the community and what’s he’s doing in my heart.

With all that being said, Thailand was a season of intense growth. I’m so grateful for my time and wouldn’t trade it for the world. We are now in Jeffery’s bay, South Africa after a wild couple of travel days!! We are also all squad for this month which is AWESOME!! My cup is full and overflowing!!

Thank you for reading!! Your generosity is on of the reasons I am here so I thank you!! If you read this far, send me a prayer request or a testimony of his goodness in your life!! Keep me updated!! Love you guys!! Until next time, keep praying for my squad as we start ministry on Monday!!